How many sticks does it take to get the bow on your brother’s behind?

Posted by on December 26, 2010 at 12:58 am.

Each year, I try to convince myself that I’m going to try opening my Christmas presents the same way my brother does.

The way it works in my family, we all take a turn opening presents one at a time, oldest to youngest. Though it was hard to tolerate as a small child, I do pretty well with that method now.

Of course, stocking stuffers that are wrapped are included in this taking turns, which makes for a tedious end to unwrapping. Not that I don’t appreciate toothpaste and Carmex and super glue — but it doesn’t have the same excitement that comes with the rest of the presents. My brother has a solution for this.

He opens the stocking stuffers first.

This only makes it worse on my end because we often have almost the exact same stocking stuffers, and so the few of those I couldn’t figure out by look and touch, I know before I even begin to think about them.

Overall, this method allows him to open his bigger, and usually cooler, presents last so that he is still excited toward the end and not trying to start taking the plastic wrap and other packaging apart without my parents noticing (because we are not allowed to take anything out of it’s box until the opening is done and the wrapping paper is picked up).

Each year, I try to convince myself that I’m going to do it like he does, instead of getting stuck with the lull at the end, but I fail every time. This morning, I didn’t even think about doing it his way because I was just excited to see presents with my name on them, since they had all arrived Christmas Eve along with my family. So maybe I’m just doomed to my “biggest box first” mentality for life. On the plus side, whenever we have similar large presents, I always end up ruining it for him. Take that, toothpaste kid.

And now, readers of #Life, it’s your turn. I want to hear some stories about how you go about unwrapping your presents or other Christmas tales. Alternatively, if you don’t celebrate Christmas, how many plates of Chinese food do you get through and how?

One Comment

  • Gwen says:

    One year, the ‘rents insisted that we decorate a tree outside (a previous year’s Christmas tree) with popcorn, cranberries and glittery pine cones. Christmas morning, we all rushed down to the family room and only found the presents we had left there the previous night. It took us many tears and what seemed like hours to figure out that Santa, the ol’ bastard, had put the presents under the outside tree, in big black trash bags. We had to trek out in the snow and drag them inside before we could open them.

Trackbacks / Pingbacks

Leave a Reply