I didn’t even remember to bring my towel

Posted by on September 25, 2010 at 11:13 am.

Since my lease ran out on Aug. 1 in Columbia, I’ve been basically homeless.

I’ve had a lot of help from Jean, from friends in Columbia and from my parents as far as having somewhere to stay, but none of them have been my home. Nowhere did I have my own space.

And that’s a hard way to live. The places to lay my head and stow my stuff, though sometimes inconvenient to the people who gave me the space, are not a place to think, work or prance around sans clothing. And it’s something I miss.

Life without space gets to be a little difficult, and it wears on you. I love all of the people who have let me crash with them, but it’s not the same as long as it’s their place where I’m just taking up space, no matter how welcome.

Initially, the moving around without a home was because I was driving to and fro from St. Louis and Columbia to work in both locations for most of August. Since that has ended, I was going to find a place to live in St. Louis before a chance at a dream job fell into my lap. Not a dream location, but the job is an amazing opportunity.

I applied for the job and have since been flown there for an interview — and now I wait. And the hardest part about it (besides waiting for a call from the prospective employer) is not being able to move in anywhere. I’m not able to commit to a lease, and honestly, I don’t want to deal with taking things out of my storage unit as long as I know I might just pack it all right back up and move on.

The freedom of not really belonging anywhere or having your own space is interesting. It’s taught me a few things about myself that I wouldn’t have known and also made me feel humble and thankful in ways I don’t think I ever appreciated before, but I am ready for it to be over.

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