I fell asleep writing this at 5 a.m.

Posted by on December 9, 2010 at 5:38 pm.

After living in my apartment for about a month, I already found a need to take everything out of its place and find  new ones.

That’s not completely fair, since my bedroom has gone untouched, but I completely rearranged (and am still in the process or rearranging, really) the living room/office spaces in the main room.

A lot of good sound reasons such as lighting, better use of space, and having felt cramped in the office “room” before are the reasons I cite for the change, but I’m not convinced that’s the whole story.

When I get depressed, I organize things. Not just alphabetizing my CDs (though that project is in reserve), but literally taking everything from where it belongs and starting over trying to piece it back together. Looking for better ways to put everything going forward is a way I help myself recover.

I suppose it just works well with what I’m doing to fix the problems in my head — the process of dealing with being depressed is a lot like pulling all the wires out from my desk and piecing them back together, but knowing that it will only work for so long.

And I’m not talking about a little, sad “woe is me” depression. I’ve been diagnosed with “clinical depression” in one of it’s many variations, something I’ve been struggling with for most of my adult life.

That’s when I fell asleep. I wanted to say something more profound or with a point, but I didn’t. But I guess that is the point. I’m just happy that I’ve figured out some way to deal with it.

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